5 ways to approach control in a crisis

Right now, there are countless things you are powerless to change. So let’s focus instead on the things you can do.

As the horrific war in Ukraine began to unfold, one word started to trend worldwide. Al Jazeera reported that “Stoicism is Kyiv’s new normal”. USA Today claimed the men of Ukraine were “Full of stoicism and unspoken fear.” And the New Statesman argued President Zelensky’s ‘exemplary resilience’ spoke to “the stoicism of the Ukrainian people at large.”

And, though Stoicism (an ancient school of philosophy, founded in Greece some 2,000+ years ago) often gets distorted as a glib and joyless approach to life, there’s good reason for its recent resurgence. 

The Stoics had a hugely enlightened attitude to how us humans should approach control:

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own…” 

– Epictetus

Put another way: control the controllables.

What this means for right now is, while it’s impossible for any one of us to bring peace to Ukraine, steer the planet away from climate disaster, or delete all trace of Covid variants, there are infinite things we do have power over. 

Here are five things you can do, today, to bring a sense of order – plus a dash of desperately-needed positivity – when the world around you feels chaotic.

You can’t: Keep up with the minute-by-minute news 

You can: Control your consumption

Sounds obvious, but worth making clear: doomscrolling is bad for you. A desire to stay updated with news is natural, and many of us feel knowledge of a particular situation is healthy, or the right thing to do. 

Sadly, gorging on so much bad news doesn’t just risk feelings of sadness or hopelessness, but clinical disorders like depression, anxiety, even PTSD.

How to take action

Set boundaries: Given the above (that, according to science, too much media  really is a dangerous thing), think about setting limits around how much news or social media you consume each day. Right down to timed slots (e.g. your lunch break), or a cut-off point in the evening, if that helps. 

Remember that learning about a tragedy later, rather than the second it breaks, won’t alter the events. The slight delay will, however, allow time for the full – and more reliable – story to emerge, versus what leaks out in the immediate aftermath. 

Police yourself with tech: If you struggle to obey your own boundaries, you can always outsource this to AI. Apps like SelfControl (Mac) or Freedom (various) will block you from accessing the sites or apps you say, or even the internet itself, for a fixed period of time. You can also set limits on your Android device or iPhone. Or simply use a timer.

Use trusted sources: Among the many distressing parts of the conflict in Ukraine is the information war raging alongside it. Disinformation is everywhere, and represents a very modern – and potent – weapon. None of us want to fuel this by spreading fake news, yet it’s not always easy to avoid. 

Beyond sticking to trusted news outlets (e.g. the BBC, New York Times, Reuters or Associated Press), always read a story in full before clicking share, and beware content from publications you’ve not heard of. And don’t forget: if it sounds made up – there’s every chance it is.

You can’t: Help everyone

You can: Be a compassionate human being

If the war in Ukraine has sparked complex feelings of sadness and guilt, you’re not alone. It’s human nature to want to help in times of crisis. (Remember early lockdown, when armies of kind folk offered to collect groceries or walk dogs for the at-risk?) But not everyone can. 

An obvious example: it’s noble for Benedict Cumberbatch and Cher to open their homes to refugees. Yet, unless your house is also massive, chances are it’s not quite so easy. And that’s ok.

How to take action

Connect with others: Talk. To your family, friends, workmate, whoever you’re comfortable with. Vulnerability – that is, being open about how you really feel – is a strength, not weakness. Not just that, by doing so you leave space for those around you to share how they are faring too. 

Respecting people’s boundaries: Not everyone wants to talk about such sad subject matter. In fact, some actively avoid the news at times like this – which is shown to have a positive impact on mental wellbeing. If you find chatting helps, find a like-minded pal; don’t force a heavy conversation on someone who’s not willing. Equally, if you find staying away from the news is better for your brain, embrace it. You do not need to feel guilty for protecting your mental health.

You can’t: Change government policy

You can: Write to your representative

How our leaders conduct themselves (not just during a war or pandemic, but on things like the cost-of-living, net zero, or even bin collections) can trigger all manner of emotions. As well as strong feelings like pride or anger, it’s common to feel powerless, or even insignificant.

But, to bring things back to Stoicism, focusing on how you can’t alter the course of national or global matters sort of misses the point. You can do something. 

How to take action

The German poet, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (not a known Stoic) nailed this idea: 

“Let everyone sweep in front of his own door, and the whole world will be clean.”

– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Even grand, world-shaping ideas start somewhere, and you’d be surprised how important writing to your Member of Parliament, Senate or Congress can be. 

This sort of communication is free, simple and, depending on who you contact, comes with a guaranteed response. No matter how ubiquitous social media gets, elected officials still use this kind of interaction as a temperature check for how their community feels about an issue.

So tell them.

UK: Contact your MP

US: Contact your Senator / Contact your Member of Congress 

You can’t: Be there on the ground

You can: Donate

Though it's admittedly less common than some of the feelings unpacked above, some people are so struck by the war that they want to fight alongside Ukrainian forces. Again, this speaks to a deep-rooted human desire to help, and reclaim a sense of control over a horrific situation. 

Needless to say, acting on this impulse would be highly dangerous. And possibly illegal.

How to take action

If you can afford to, donating money is the fastest way to have a positive, real-world impact on Ukrainians affected by the war. There are many worthy causes doing incredible work, and we’ve provided details for a small number of organisations below. 

• British Red Cross / American Red Cross / Ukrainian Red Cross
• Save the Children (UK) / Save the Children (international)
• Unicef
• United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees – UNHCR (UK) / UNHCR (US) / UNHCR (Ukraine)
• Choose Love 

You can’t: Change the future

You can: Control your everyday

These past few weeks have been both sad and stressful. So have the past two years. And, chances are, there is more stress and sadness ahead. But, if you approach each day with a focus on the things you can control – and not, like the Stoics say, “uncontrollable externals” – you can scratch ‘changing the path of history’ off your to-do list. 

Yet, once more, that’s not to say you don’t have power.

How to take action

Don’t forget the basics: The term ‘self-care’ cops a lot of stick, but if we all committed to properly caring for ourselves, the world may still be chaotic, but also a bit more calm and happy.  

Small tweaks can have a spectacular impact on your mood, and wider state of wellbeing. Like getting enough sleep, daylight, water and nutritious food. Sure, it’s all quite obvious. But do we all get enough of all of these every day? Doubtful. 

No one is surprised when an unloved plant flops and withers after being starved of these basic needs, yet we expect ourselves to motor on – despite the fact we (no shade, shrubs), are much more complex in nature.

Tend to the fundamentals, then try to find a routine (like limiting your exposure to news, or talking things through with a friend) that works for you. From there, the world won’t be fixed, but your world, and day, may seem a bit more manageable.

If you need help, get it: In our last blog, we shared a detailed list of crisis support resources for those who need it in Ukraine. If you are worried about your own mental health, we recommend seeing your doctor or calling Samaritans (UK / US). There is always someone ready to talk, and listen.